Third time is the charm!!

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated the Louie and Darlene story.  It turned out the Legacy of St. Anthony Village was not the perfect place that I had hoped when I moved my parents there last January.

Moving out of their beautiful dream home that they lived in for the last 30 years was indeed a transition that was not easy. My mom complained about how horrible everything was there.  At first I thought this was just my very hard to please mother grieving losing her home and so many of her precious things that she could not bring along.

In the first month we needed to have care for my father after a surgery to remove a cancerous growth on his head and my mother fell.  It then became clear how unprepared this facility was to give proper care.  It was abysmal. There were stories of people pushing their emergency call buttons that went unanswered and in one instance a woman who’s husband was having a stroke had to go to the main lobby where she found the head chef who then found the nurse on duty.

The stories were so bad, I was encouraged to report them to the State of MN.  I came to learn that the owners, Lang-Nelson Company was considered by many to be the worst in the industry.  I had 3 different people including someone from the State give me a dire sounding Ohhhhh when I told them it was Lang-Nelson.  The man from the State said, after saying ohhhh,  “Lets just say we know about them.” The State went out to investigate a week after I filed the complaint, which is unheard of that they would come so fast.

I’ll share one story, but no means the worst, but telling.   One of their toilets was clogged,  Frankly it happened several times.  We were told they were having a lot of issues with the plumbing and the company who did the work on the building had gone out of business.  The maintenance guy was not there.  They sent a young aide who did not know what to do.  My mother said she at least had to clean the floor as it had run over the edge onto the floor. She swished a mop around with dirty water in the pail and someone else finally came with a plunger.  We hire a wonderful woman who comes in once or twice a week to help my folks so she did the proper scrubbing.

I asked the Director of Resident services,  “Who is the supervisor of the aides?  The Director of Nursing (one of the worst of all the staff people IMHO).  I then asked who is responsible for training them on the proper way to mop a floor.  She looked at me dumbfounded like I had asked the stupidest question in the world and she said, “Well…I don’t know, their parents.”  I was shocked. I said that’s your answer??  That explains a lot of what we observed as untrained and inadequate staff.

Moving day couldn’t come soon enough. The marketing for the Legacy said they will go above and beyond expectations.  They were right about that, however what was above and beyond was the inept management.

After scrambling to find something better we settled on the Pines of Richfield.  Ironically formerly owned and operated by Lang-Nelson, now run by Augustana Homes.  The housing director, who had worked under both Lang-Nelson and Augustana Homes, told me was a night and day difference when they made the switch.

It is a 13 year old facility I thought it was an OK apartment.  Not as fancy as the Legacy, but much superior care and staff.   My mother was even more unhappy than she had been at the Legacy.  The complaining was relentless.  She wanted to go home or die.

I will admit that it was not perfect.  There was not a washer and dryer in their unit but shared laundry room right across the hall.  The kitchen was not great, but I thought who cares, they eat all their meals at the dining room. There was a sweet screen in porch off their living room.  The food was not fantastic.

At first Louie settled in pretty good taking part in bingo, bowling and other activities, but complained that it was all just women.  That was true.  Very few men at the Pines.  It did feel like an “old folks home.”  It is also true older established facilities have many people who had lived there for a long time and there are cliques that develop over time. You have to be careful where you sit because the “regulars” had “their table” and one was not to sit there unless you were a part of their group. Kind of like high school all over again.

I told my mother that she was on her own and I was done looking.  I’ve seen almost everything in the metro area and I said she was welcome to look for something better but I was done.  I’d spent a year of my life trying to please her (hit all the old buttons of childhood) and I told her I was happy to take them to look where ever they wanted but I was not going to keep looking.  EVERYONE told me I just had to give it time for them to settle in.  She would come around.

When my father, who’s dementia is increasing, started parroting everything my mother was saying and how they needed to get out of there, I went back on my word and checked one last place.

The Waters on 50th   opened this spring and I had considered it when we moved from the Legacy but I was apprehensive about going into another brand new place that hadn’t been tested.  The two bedrooms  had all been reserved, but they recently had a cancellation from someone who decided they weren’t ready to make the move out of their home and they showed me a 2 BR, 2 bath plus den.

After my tour of the apartment I had a delicious dinner and sat with a most lovely couple who had just moved in 3 weeks prior.  They told me how happy they were there.  I asked them why they chose to live there because to me, they seemed very capable of independent living.  She told me she knew that the time would come that they would need more help and they wanted to be pro active.  It brought tears to my eyes and I thanked them and said what a relief it must be to their children. They said they thought my parents would be very happy if they moved there.

This one really is perfect.  Not only a washer and dryer, but a huge closet with full size washer and dryer.  She now has a laundry room!!!  One of the things my mom liked almost more than the laundry (if that’s possible) is the window over the kitchen sink.

I was in the right place at the right time.  The Waters is affiliated with the University of MN Center for Spirituality and Healing.  They have one simple word for what they are trying to do for their residents.  Thrive.  The food is EXCELLENT, staff superb and very well designed apartments and building.

One of the most popular evenings is Happy Hour on Thursdays.  They serve wine, lemonade, juices and hors d’oeuvres.  The residents are fantastic and there are several couples.  It feels much more like Independent Senior living rather than assisted living.

They have 24/7 RNs on duty, no one else has that, a great exercise program along with many holistic options.  There also is memory care and extended care unit in the building.  Something neither of the others had.   This  is the Waters beta testing facility where they will be doing extensive research looking for positive outcomes and a major paper will be written with the U of M about their findings in two years.  They said they are out to change the industry.

This is from their website.

Our unique approach to wellness is the cornerstone of The Waters experience. Instead of only focusing on physical wellness, we believe that all dimensions of a person are important – therefore we create activities and programs that enhance the social, intellectual, spiritual, vocational, emotional, and physical aspects of each of our residents. Our unique partnership with the University of Minnesota’s Center for Spirituality and Healing also allows us to be one of the first in the state to provide innovative wellness therapies known to improve senior-related health issues.

I can tell you that I have not seen my mom this happy in a very long time.  Their “forever” home is now filled with my mother’s wonderful watercolors and oils that she has painted through the years.  It’s beautiful!! My heart is full of gratitude that their last days/months/years will be in a place where they truly are thriving.